How To Not Be A Douchebag Dad

Bro, do you even dad?

“A baby sitting with her father while looking at a kids book.” by Picsea on Unsplash

That’s right bros, dad is now a verb. And that’s the first lesson — a verb implies action. You want to be a good dad? Take action, lots of it. Here are 10 key steps to not being a douchebag dad, learned through my own experience dadding two kids and observing some damn good dads and plenty of douchebag dads.

1. Get your ass into the kitchen

If you don’t know how to cook, you’re a douchebag dad. The old-school stereotypical American family structure is dead, boys. If you think it’s okay to rely on your wife to do all the cooking and cleaning in the kitchen, you’re probably a douchebag dad.

Even if you’re the breadwinner and your wife is a stay-at-home mom, your day is probably less hectic than hers. Kids, especially young ones, are a metric ton of work. If you think you get to come home and drink beer while your wife cooks and gets the kid(s) ready for bed, you’re a douchebag dad even if you’re making bank.

2. Understand that feeling the kid’s forehead isn’t sufficient to detect a fever

Only douchebag dads think they can tell if their kid has a fever with the back of their hand. Figure out where your wife keeps the thermometer, and use it if your kid isn’t…